Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Enviro Mental

Today's guest columnist is Art Dif, Billionaire Enviro Mentalist.
Art has recently returned from a trip aboard Gaia Two, Earth's first Personal Spacecraft.
It was epiphonic.
Prior to Art's epiphony, he had used his billions to make more billions. His was a simple philosophy. It worked well.
Since returning, Art has gone Enviro Mental.
I'll let Art tell the rest...

Good Day!
Thank you for this opportunity.
I'm Art Dif.
My first order of business consists of inviting my fellow Billionaire Enviro Mentalists, Ted Turner, and Richard Branson to the table.
You've heard of them. I'm sure.
I'm the newbie in this media exposure biz. It's only been a matter of months since I woke up to this new calling. The time since has all been spent absorbing, and considering. There's a lot of confusing, conflicting stuff to toss around.
For instance, Al Gore, one of the so-called leading voices of our environmental conscience, claims we will get the rest of the world to follow in our newly developing Enviro Mentalist Nation footsteps through 'Moral Authority'.
We, in our greater wisdom, will set a shining example for the rest of the world to follow. Nations all over the globe will alter their ways, in emulation of our Morally Authorized lead.
Cripes! That ol' boy is flat out stupid.
His attitude is exactly why USofA is so friggin' hated.
Nobody has looked toward USofA for any Higher Outlook since guys like Al's Dad ran the show. They pretty much dumped Pandora's Box all over the place, and left the mess for us to clean up.
Yet, this Bozo son of an Influence Peddler, who, more and more, resembles a lurching undertaker, came a few crooked votes from being The President, and gets huge attention for whatever issue enters his gourd.
I think he's a crazed lunatic with a forum.
What do you think?
Is his POV correct?
What do I know?
With my vast resources, and near religious zeal for the topic at hand, a great deal can be done. But, I need feedback before proceeding.
Turner and Branson have serious media clout. With access to their outlets, our combined financial resources, and my new found enthusiasm for what seems certain to endure as the topic of the milennium, we can certainly open avenues of discussion...which lets folks in.
One thing I've learned in my recent research binge, is that countless individuals have invaluable insight, when provided the opportunity to express theirself.
It's amazing what you can learn.

Here's the invitation.
Let's sit down.
Here's what I far...

We can still save our niche.
Get over Man v. Nature. It’s a no-win situation. We are nature.
Everything we do, everything we have ever done, is part of the natural course of events.
We can’t waste decades trying to undo our actions. They’re part of the course.
Otherwise, they never could have happened.
For example, using the planet’s natural resources, such as petroleum, generating energy, reducing drudgery, and improving ‘quality of existence’, was brilliantly symbiotic, for a while.
Unfortunately, as seems to be our way, we overdid it. Greed led to abuse, and excess took over.
From the first oil well, to excess, to complete abuse and potential self-destruction, in three generations.
That’s it.
It’s who we are. It’s what we do.
Our quest to reduce drudgery, by utilizing the planet’s resources, has gone horribly awry.
The future will be a series of increasingly reckless battles, over control of the dwindling supply, unless we change our outlook.
In the big picture, the entire reign of King Petro Chem will become an insignificant blip on the screen.
To those of us living during Petro Chem’s reign, it is the ‘be all and end all’.
At least it will be if we refuse to smarten up.
Change our demands, and supply will follow.
That’s the natural course of events.

I realize that my outlook approaches Gumpness in its obvious simplicity. But, simplicity got me to this position.
Simple starts the ball rolling.
Thanks, again...
Art Dif
Billionaire Enviro Mentalist

NOTE...Ted Turner is getting too old for this conflict. He bowed out after commenting that we were headed for cannibalism. It's probably for the best. The Mouth of the South hasn't been the same since his unfortunate encounter with Janey.